Public Speaking Tips for Telling a Story
Telling a story is the most natural way to communicate.
On the simplest level and daily we share stories all the time:
on the journey to work; where we went on holiday; family issues.
It is only a small step from sharing a social noise to sharing with a purpose.
Sometimes we just want to have a good moan about something.
What is the difference between a moan and a business presentation?
A business presentation has a purpose.
More often than not, a moan is just an opportunity to unload. We just want some sympathy, and we are not moving anyone anywhere.
While public speaking might seem daunting to many of us, sharing a story is probably less so.
It was always very refreshing and informative to work with Primary School children.
‘What are going to do today, sir?’
‘Public Speaking.’
‘Oooh. What do we have to do?’
‘Tell a story and make a point.’
And invariably they all did.
They did not get lost in the formalities of Public Speaking, they did not get all self-conscious and nervous; they just got up and told their story.
My job in the room was just to make sure that the story had a point and that we in the audience could learn something from it,
(usually, it was nothing profound: ‘Get up early if you want to be on time’; ‘Sharing is more fun than snatching’; ‘Sometimes Mummy does know best.’).
but rather than the story just stopping and leaving us hanging, we were all able to learn something, realise something or have a truth confirmed.
And with that we are already pretty close to a typical TED talk.
The majority of TED talks are simply ‘tell a story and share a point’.
One time I was struck by a naturally very shy, reserved lady who was asked to brief a team of trainers on safe-guarding. She was petrified. Trainers are Public Speakers and here she had to stand up in front of a room full of them. She was very flustered. A few of us realised what was happening and to ease her into the presentation – because she had the knowledge and years of practical experience – we simply started asking a few questions:
‘What happens if..?’
‘Have you ever had to..?
‘Would it be OK to..?
As she answered each question she would immediately support her answer with an experience she had had, or back it up with a case study.
She did not like Public Speaking, but she had a lot of valuable stories to share!
Telling a story is not only the easiest way to approach Public Speaking, it is also the most effective, engaging, and memorable way to put across a message.
Words are very transient: pictures remain in the memory.
10 tips for telling a story
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Attitude
The difference in attitude between delivering a presentation and sharing a story can be like night and day.
Part of the clue is in my choice of verbs: presentations are ‘delivered’, like a letter through the door or even worse, presentations are ‘pitched’ to the client, like an object being thrown; stories are ‘shared’ suggestive of one person sitting next to another, on the same level, and rather than talking down and there is a sense of two-way communication rather than one-way broadcast.
Why are so many presentations painful to listen to? – Because the audience is being talked at rather than shared with.
So much of the anxiety associated with Public Speaking comes from stressful images of being exposed, standing up in front, having to be perfect, having to have all the answers.
If someone is lecturing me, they are putting themselves above me – so they should feel some pressure and they had better know what they are talking about, because if they are talking down to me, they are asking me to humble myself to take on their advice.
If they are sharing a story, they are not lecturing, they are expressing a point of view and it is up to me to decide whether their experience is helpful to me.
The Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler used to talk about vertical and horizontal relationships.
Vertical relationships have an imbalance: parent to child; manager to staff; expert to idiot!
Horizontal relationships suggest an equality of value in the relationship: friend to friend; colleague to colleague; intelligent person to intelligent person.
You may have greater experience than I have, but that does not mean that you are better than me. The story can still be shared as one individual to another, rather than delivered as a superior to an inferior.
Telling a story is the best way to set up that atmosphere of sharing rather than lecturing.
So even before you start to think about your stories, think about the attitude with which you want to deliver your presentation.
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Purpose
Notice my words for an effective TED talk - ‘tell a story and share a point’
If there is no point to your story, then why should I listen to you?
I am sure we have all had an experience of listening to a work colleague where we find ourselves thinking:
‘Where is this going?’
A professional story is a presentation and a presentation needs a purpose and so rather than your audience walking away thinking:
‘That is half an hour of my life I will never get back.’
You want them to walk away thinking:
‘That was useful – I have learned something.’
I remember a stand-up comedian telling us there were 3 keys for a successful show (speakers like 3s)
- talk about something you know
- talk about something that the audience can relate to
- have only one major point or theme.
If your story has too many points, firstly you might confuse yourself as you tell it and more likely the audience will get confused hearing it.
You do not want an audience walking out where one person says:
‘I like the point of that story.’
and the other person replies:
‘Really? I got a completely different message!’
I remember when our children were small and we were visiting my mother-in-law on holiday, we would occasionally go out on a trip. If we were going to the beach then the journey was simple: either we were on route to the beach or we were not.
My mother-in-law loves sorting out her errands together, so sometimes it was:
‘Are going to the beach or dropping into the chemist?’
‘Are we going to the chemist or taking garden waste to the dump?’
‘Are we going to the dump or delivering a cake?’
The problem was we got confused as to what was most important.
It is the same with a story.
If there is one clear point then it is easy to work out whether the detail of the story is moving towards that conclusion or not: if there are many points, the content can get confused.
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Audience
Who is your audience?
Great speakers will have a range of stories.
Their message may be to ‘prioritise’, but when they are presenting to a group of children there will be stories about homework, packing sports kit, not forgetting your best friend; when they are presenting to a business audience, it might be work-life balance, juggling project demands, creating a to do list.
The more the story relates to the audience, the more likely they are to embrace the message.
Therefore…
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Relatable
Following on from Point #3 and having thought about the best story to use for that audience, ask yourself, do you have the authority to tell that story?
I particularly remember motivational speakers who would frequently rehash well-known stories about goal-setting or dream-building. The stories were right, but did they have the right to tell them?
They may have read the story, but had they lived it?
If the speaker is doing no more than lifting stories out of a book, it might be quicker if they just told us what the book was.
The basis of the speaker-audience relationship is the audience's thinking:
‘What can I learn from you?’
If there is nothing original in the presentation then what is the point of attending?
Therefore…
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Personal
A personal story is the best story for so many reasons.
Firstly a personal story is easier to remember – you just have to remember what happened and tell it!
Secondly, if it is a personal story, it will be unique to you and even if what you are sharing is a situation that many of us have faced, we are learning what you learnt from the experience.
I have just watched an interview with a former England cricket captain, saying that the team is too dependent on their best player and all the other batsmen should get as close to him as possible to see how he prepares, discover his thought processes, how he prepares and all the minute details that might make a difference.
This is why a personal story is so powerful, because the audience is learning exactly how you coped (or did not cope) with a situation and if they are having a similar experience then every detail of what you did (or did not do) might be the critical detail for them.
Therefore, every story needs…
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A moment
People remember pictures: but they forget words.
By telling a story you are providing the audience with a narrative and when they go home they can use that narrative to find the way back to the point.
In every story, there will be a turning point, a moment when something did or did not happen and that moment governs the result of the story.
So if you are speaking about how to develop more resilience in your life, the best example is your story of how you developed more resilience and if we assume the reason I want to listen to your presentation is that I am lacking resilience, then not only do I want to hear your story, but I want you to share the turning point, the exact thoughts, where you were sitting, what was happening around you, because like the England cricketers, if I want to improve I want you to share the precise moment you made the decision that changed your direction.
Therefore, you always need to have…
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Humility
If I want you to develop humility and I lecture you, rather than sharing with you or showing you what I did, I may just come across as arrogant.
If I say to you:
‘You need to be more resilient. I have never had that problem. I am perfect.’
Firstly I don’t even like you, but secondly, how can you help me out of a state if you have never experienced my situation? At best what you suggest might seem a bit academic, at worst I won’t listen because you clearly do not understand me.
This is another key element of many TED talks. The speaker is showing us:
‘I have been where you are. This is my story of how I overcame the situation. I am just sharing my perspective and what I learned. If it resonates with you, feel free to follow what I did.’
At no stage should the speaker be saying (vertically):
‘Do this!’
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Add voices
It may only be your own voice, but reporting what was said and what was thought has a number of benefits.
Firstly it is a great way of bringing us into the ‘moment’:
where were you sitting, what were you thinking, what did you say to yourself?
And now your story has immediacy.
Now your audience is in the room with you, experiencing the situation in ‘real-time’
Secondly, it makes the story easier to remember and easier to tell, because you just have to put yourself back into the situation and ‘tell it as it happened’
Thirdly the story will become easier for the audience to picture and remember when you have finished your presentation and so your message is more likely to stay with them
And fourthly, adding ‘live’ voices to your presentation is a wonderful opportunity to vary the pitch, pace and power of your voice as you reproduce the excitement, anger, or panic of the moment in question.
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More emotion and less data
I am not asking you to be manipulative!
(Happily, most of the time that does not even work.)
I remember a Life Insurance salesperson emotively resorting to:
‘But think of your children without a father.’
And I thought:
‘You are now just crudely trying to press my buttons. This interview is over.’
But if your presentation is aimed at overcoming the audience’s anxiety, show how anxious you felt
If you offer a message of hope, show them your despair and how you overcame it.
If you offer a message of self-belief, show them your doubt and how you overcame it.
Show: don’t just tell!
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Vocalise
The best way to practise a story is to tell it.
Rather than trying to commit it to memory, just walk through it regularly and allow it to take shape, note the moments that are critical and note the details that might not be necessary.
Therefore rather than producing a stiff and over-learnt story, you know the key moments and maybe some key phrases or words, and through repetition you can learn to move from one point to the next in a natural organic way.
If you are clear on your message and thereby know the precise reason why you are telling this story, you can craft your story in a way that leads directly to that message.
And those are always the best, most natural, and most memorable presentations.
