Public Speaking Tips for Listening

Public Speaking;
you would imagine the clue is in the title, but just as top salespeople set themselves apart by their ability to listen to their clients, top speakers set themselves apart by their ability to listen to, read, and respond to their audiences.
When I was involved in speech competitions it was always interesting to note that speakers who were in contention for a prepared speaking prize were often also in contention in an improvised speaking contest – in both cases, the key skill was the ability to stand up in front of an audience and speak!
However, it was less common for those speakers to also be in contention for an Evaluation contest when their ability to listen to and assess a speech was more important.
I am not necessarily implying that a lot of good speakers are more interested in broadcasting and being at the centre of attention (though that sometimes is the case), but what I have noted is that the excellent speakers, rather than just presenting well, also have the ability to respond to and relate to their audience.
Brian Tracey’s sales skills mantra applies here:
‘To sell Joe Jones what Joe Jones buys, you need to see the world through Joe Jones’ eyes.’
Most of the work that goes into preparing a speech is focused on understanding the needs and orientation of the audience, which means that the same subject might need to be approached in very different ways for different audiences.
And how will we know how to present a subject unless we can listen to and respond to that audience’s needs?
Promoting ‘a woman’s right to choose’ will require a very different approach if presenting to a ‘pro-life’ group, as opposed to a group that is already more in tune with your message.
Listening might mean sitting down with a stakeholder to find out about the people in the audience;
it might mean being open to advice from other speakers and leaders who have been in similar situations, based on their learning and previous experience,
or it might mean showing the audience that you are open and receptive during the presentation.
Without listening, speaking becomes mere broadcasting;
with listening, speaking becomes a more interactive and sharing form of communication.
No one likes to be talked at!

10 tips for listening before speaking

Before the Presentation

1. Make sure you understand the outline of the brief

I remember being contacted by an organisation and asked to deliver communication skills training to their staff. 
‘What do you mean by ‘communication skills’? I asked.
‘We need to get back to you on that,’ was the reply.
I never heard from them again.
Now is not the moment to analyse the importance of well-formulated Purpose Statements and Learning Outcomes, but we need to recognise when a request is vague or unclear – often because the contract giver is not clear about what they want.
If the organisation above had replied with:
‘We don’t have a specific outline.  Feel free to approach the subject in whatever way you feel might be valuable,’ then I know they are saying to me:
‘You are the expert.  We trust you to come up with a suitable presentation.’
However, it is always worth listening between the lines,
because if they are only vaguely aware they have an issue that needs addressing, but are unclear about what they want, they might be setting everyone up for failure, because your idea of ‘communication skills’ may not be the same as theirs.
A presentation needs to have a clear purpose and if the early instructions are vague, either it needs to be clear that they are willing to pass that responsibility to you, or else you might only find out afterwards that you had delivered ‘the wrong’ presentation.

2. Listen for clues to the make-up of your audience

The first, simple question that I often ask is:
’Do they want to be there?’
Assuming our organisation above had been able to clarify what type of ‘Communication Skills’ they want, the atmosphere in the room is going to be very different if the attendees are aware of the need for upskilling and are very motivated to be there, as opposed to a group of resistant employees that have been told to attend.
Other factors to consider might be age, experience, attitudes, and level of responsibility for the successful implementation of the training.
Remember the analogy that sums up the different levels of commitment to a successful English breakfast:
‘The chicken is involved; the pig is committed.’
Some of your audience may only have a passing interest in the subject; others need it to fulfil their role.

You may be told directly or else you can read between the lines by carefully listening to work out the make-up of your potential audience.

3. Plan your introduction

The main purpose of the opening moments of an introduction is to get the audience on board.
If you have a clear idea of who you are talking to, what they want and what their objections might be, you can tailor an opening that indicates that you understand their perspective, that you have listened to their point of view - or that you are willing to listen, and that the presentation has been conceived with them in mind.
If you cannot achieve this, your audience may switch off to you before you have even got going.

During the Presentation

4. Eye Contact

We listen with our eyes, not just our ears. All through a presentation eye contact is important to impart confidence and connection, but particularly if you intend to answer questions or take interruptions, the ability to maintain good eye contact with the questioner is a key indication that you are listening to them and taking their question seriously.  I always remember the twee little story of a child who says to his parent:
‘I know when you are listening to me properly because you look at me when I am speaking.’

5. Pause before replying

Even if you know the answer immediately or you have heard this question a thousand times before, it is worth giving yourself a moment before you reply.  Apart from the advice to slow down being a valuable to for most speakers anyway, giving a moment before answering it suggests that you are considering the question properly and valuing the questioner.  If the answer is too hasty it can give the impression that the question has been swotted away and the questioner might not feel properly listened to.

6. Paraphrase

NLP might teach you to repeat back the exact words to the questioner, as that gives the impression that you are ‘speaking the same language’, which might be fine, but just repeating what someone said does not necessarily mean you understand the thought behind the words.  Therefore if it is important to fully understand the underlying meaning of the question to come up with a credible answer, it might be worth taking a moment to paraphrase the question back to the questioner, ask them if that is what they meant, and then answer.
Not only does this show that you are trying to listen properly, it can also allow you to slightly shift the emphasis of the question to ground where you feel more comfortable.
Clearly, you cannot completely twist the implication of the question as that would show that you are not listening, but if the questioner poses a question around ‘credibility’ you might be able to paraphrase that as:
‘I think this is a question about ‘trust’.  Can we be trusted to do what we say?
Is that what you are asking?’
If it is close enough to what the questioner intends, you can now frame your answer around ‘trust’.
However, if the questioner is adamant about the word ‘credibility’, you had better make sure your answer is focused on their understanding of ‘credibility’ and if that means asking them to expand on their definition, you may win yourself a few extra moments to think and in the process demonstrate that you are listening keenly to what is being asked.

7. Nod

Matched with good eye contact, one of the best ways to show you are listening is to nod as the other person is speaking.  It does not necessarily mean you agree with them, it is just an indication that you are listening and giving their point of view due consideration.

8. Find a point of agreement

I have noticed many mature politicians doing this.  Rather than attacking or immediately disagreeing, they listen politely and then reference some area where they agree with the questioner.  It shows they have listened and intend to reply in a friendly charitable manner.  What follows is often a very polite rebuttal of the main point that the questioner is posing, but it does not feel like an out-of-hand dismissal, because they have displayed the patience and respect to listen to the other point of view properly.

9. Avoid interrupting

It can be very tempting to jump in early when you feel you already know where a question is going.
Even if that is true, it suggests a best that you have already made up your mind and are not willing to listen fully to the question, at worst that you are just not listening at all.

10. Pleasing Personality

A pleasing personality is probably someone who respects others, listens to the other point of view and if they disagree, they do it politely: in short, someone who embodies all the tips above.
If you listen well, I am more likely to like and respect you and if I respect you I am more likely to listen in return.  So if you want me to listen to you, you had best start by showing that you are willing to listen to me!