Public Speaking Tips for Honesty

I hope it seems almost shocking to consider writing a Public Speaking article about honesty.
Surely telling the truth should be a given whenever we speak.
‘I cannot tell a lie’, George Washington is supposed to have said when taking responsibility for cutting down a tree.  Unfortunately, it seems that even that story might not be true.  So the story about ’I cannot tell a lie’ might actually be a lie!
And so does the end justify the means??
In these times of Populism, many seem to accept that Truth is, at best, subjective, and that if you want to lead people to a greater truth, there is nothing wrong with using a few lies to do so.
Truth can be subjective to a degree, but if I want to believe something, even if there is no evidence to back it up, and I still choose to claim it is ‘true’ (and of course, I will always be able to find some thread on an internet chat that supports me), surely I am simply being dishonest.

Queen Elizabeth II came up with the wonderfully refined statement:
‘Recollections may vary’
to rebut some of the claims made by Prince Harry and Megan about how they were treated by the Royal Household.
Taken at face value the characteristic tact and discretion of that statement beautifully acknowledge that the interpretation of truth can be subjective, but the charm of the statement lies in the unstated implication contained within it, which, if any of us, rather than the late HRH, were expressing it, would probably come out as:
‘Actually, what they are saying is total bxxxxcks’.
While we may differ in our perceptions of what is true, I hope we can agree that a deliberate lie is a deliberate lie.

When we are urged in the courtroom
‘to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth’,
it is because we could be telling the truth, but only a small part of the truth or we could be telling the whole truth but adding in a few falsehoods as well and thereby avoid, disguise, or bury the full truth.
We can all think of ‘careers’ that seem to be centred around at best avoiding ‘the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth’ and in some cases actively promoting untruths – snake oil salespeople, some professionals engaged in Public Relations where their brief it to protect the company reputation at all costs and unfortunately some politicians and demagogues whose only political motivation seems to be to further themselves and their own advantage, rather than represent the people they claim to speak for. 
Nevertheless putting all that aside, I would hope that for the rest of us, the purpose of Public Speaking should be to express as best as we can what we honestly believe to be true.

The purpose of this article on ‘honesty’ in Public Speaking therefore is not to make a moral pronouncement but to highlight some of those elements, both psychological and technical, that can crop up in our presentations, probably arising through nerves or poor preparation, that tend to undermine the successful delivery of our message. 
If our reluctance to stand up in front of other people leaks out while we are speaking, we are sending a message of discomfort which might be interpreted by the listener as a sign of dishonesty.
Needless to say, the more cynical amongst us will now be thinking that if we can effectively mask these signs of discomfort, we will be able to lie more convincingly!
Hence my least favourite – although witty – sales mantra is:
‘Sincerity in sales is key and once you can fake that you are made!’

So before I start, let us go back to a simple premise:
‘you have a message that you believe in and you want to make sure that there is nothing in how you express that message that is going to undermine it.’

Now what do we do?

Top 10 tips for projecting Honesty

1. Stance

How we stand in front of our audience sends a message before we even start speaking.
Do you look balanced or do you look ‘shifty’?
Do you look nervous?  (I understand you feel nervous – but do you look nervous?!)
If the speaker in front of me looks a bit ‘shifty’, looks uncomfortable, and seems off-balance, immediately I will start to ask myself: ‘Why?’
Intellectually I may empathise, because Public Speaking is indeed quite nerve-wracking,
however, fairly quickly my thoughts will go to:
- visually they are unsteady, does that mean their point of view is also a bit ‘shifty’ and untrustworthy?
- they look unbalanced, does that mean that their argument is also off-balance and therefore somewhat biased?
- they look nervous and uncomfortable.  Is that because they are uncomfortable with their own message and about the truth of their message?  Are they simply not convinced themselves?

2. Use of podium

Many speakers love to hide behind a lectern and sometimes the nature of the presentation may demand it.
However following on from the points above, do they seem defensive?  Do they look like they hiding from us?
I remember a speaker delivering much of his presentation and the ‘data’ supporting his argument from behind a podium, but when he wanted to make his appeal directly to the audience he came out from behind the lectern and spoke directly to us without any barrier in between.  It felt like he was coming out from his safe protected area to speak to us honestly.

3. Eyes

Based on the much-quoted phrase, that all parents have said at some stage:
‘Look me in the eyes and tell me that!’
we understand there is an implicit implication that eye contact is connected to truth-speaking.
An avoidance of eye contact may be interpreted as an avoidance of honesty.
In a recent sad case of a man who failed a lie detector on a TV reality show and then soon after took his life when his results were revealed to him and he was accused of lying live on air, much of his appeal to the host came through his eye-contact as he swore he was telling the truth.
It may not be practical or even desirable to lock eyes with your audience all through a presentation, but there will be the occasional moment when you are delivering a key message and at that moment your ability to look at your audience (or if speaking via Zoom – into the camera) will transmit a message of ‘Truth’.
https://www.ataps.co.uk/about/blog/public-speaking-tips-for-eye-contact.html

4. Hands

Consider the ‘Trust me’ or ‘I have nothing to hide’ gesture and you will have a picture of a person standing, probably well-balanced, looking his audience directly into the eyes with his arms apart, with his wrists and palms upward or showing. 
The origin of the shaking hands gesture when we meet someone is supposed to stem from a physical expression of;
‘My hand is empty, I am not holding a weapon, I mean you no harm.’
So displaying open palms suggests there is nothing to hide.
Hands in your pockets, behind your back, folded in front of you or nervously clutching a defensive barrier of notes can all send the message of ‘hiding’ something: covering yourself.

So if you want to send a message of Honesty, make sure your body is sending a message of openness .
https://www.ataps.co.uk/about/blog/public-speaking-tips-for-gestures.html

5. Don’t Bluff

There is always a temptation when you are not sure, to say it anyway.
In the words of the singer, Kelis:
‘Might trick me once
I won't let you trick me twice'
I once heard the statement:
‘99% faithful to your partner is 100% unfaithful’
I also heard a businessman saying:
‘Don’t go into partnership with him, he cheats at golf.’
The implication being, if he cheats at golf, he will probably cheat in business too.
Aristotle talks about ‘Ethos’, the character and integrity of the speaker.
If you want to be believed, you need to be believable!
https://www.ataps.co.uk/about/blog/public-speaking-tips-for-ethos.html

6. Simplify

When proposing a point of view, the adjective ‘byzantine’ has come to mean an argument that is absurdly and frustratingly complex.  We sometimes talk about being ‘blinded by science’; the implication being that we do not understand the complexities, which in turn might mean that the truth might be lost in all the detail.
Hillary Benn, the labour politician set out a nuanced position for military action in the Middle East with an introduction that explained that although the situation may seem very complex, it is ‘at its heart, very simple.’
If a speaker sets out their point of view in a clear way that I can understand, I am more likely to believe them.
(Visually and linguistically he is standing before me with his hands open.)

7. Personal Experience

It is hard to argue with someone who says:
‘But this is what I have experienced!’
If we want to disagree we will probably need to say that they are lying, which is unlikely to go well.
This is why many politicians, despite all public information to the contrary will retreat behind:
’I find in the letters I am receiving…’
or
‘The people I have been speaking to in my constituency….are saying the exact opposite.’
However we are of course looking at telling the truth rather than hiding the truth, so rather than seeing this as a technique for avoiding scrutiny, I recommend personal experience as a form of testimony to support the truth.

8. Structure

Speaking structure needs to be simple.  Apart from avoiding an appearance of byzantine complexity, a simple structure is the ideal way to lead the audience through an argument and if we support that structure with plenty of ‘sign-posting’ to allow the audience a chance to re-orientate and be reminded of where we are in the argument, it all adds to an appearance of transparency.

9. Avoid hyperbole and exaggeration

The danger of substituting accurate numbers and expressions with freer words like ‘millions’, ‘always’, ‘disgusting’ and ‘fascist’, is that as well as the words being open to a contradiction in terms of accuracy, they also imply an either overly broad-brush approach to the subject or they imply an excessively charged and emotional approach will be open to accusations of being unbalanced and biased.

10. Convince yourself

Preparation is the key.
Often we display nerves because we are under-researched or have not rehearsed properly, but the audience does not hear ‘under-researched’ or ‘under-rehearsed’, they hear ‘unconvincing’, ‘unsure’, and potentially ‘untrue’.
We all experience nerves, but that should not stop us from taking control of as much as we can on our side of the fence.
Have we researched properly?
Are we clear on what our precise message is?
Have we removed any reservations that we might have?
Professional salespeople will maintain that the most important objections to overcome are your own.
If you are unsure, your audience will pick up on that and that can quickly translate into seeming ‘shifty’, ‘unsure’, and ‘dishonest’.

Make sure you are convinced of your argument.
Make sure you have set it out in a way that is clear and logical.
Make sure you look and sound like someone open and honest.
and now the truth and sincerity of your words will ring out unimpaired.