Public Speaking Tips for building Trust
When we think about people we trust, we may be thinking of words like:
dependable, straightforward, honest, clear, uncomplicated.
As speakers we probably won’t always have the depth of connection necessary to live up to those words immediately, but how can we start to earn them?
I cannot walk out on stage and immediately be seen as dependable because no one knows me!
However, if we consider the ingredients that make up a persuasive speech, most of those words will start to apply.
For instance, I can lay out my topic at the beginning of the speech, and then by expanding on what I said I would do in my introduction and by delivering it well I can create an impression that suggests straightforward and dependable.
There are several things that we can do and things we should try to avoid while we are speaking in order to build trust
10 tips for building trust as a speaker
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Clarity of Structure
There is a recommended and oft-quoted speech format, variously attributed, which says:
‘Tell ‘em, tell ‘em, and tell ‘em again.’
You will notice the much-loved arrangement of threes in how that advice is expressed.
Not just the use of three, but the most blatant and unsubtle use of three – pure repetition.
Think of Tony Blair’s ‘Education, education, education.’
It is the speaking equivalent of being beaten over the head with a piece of wood,
but it does get your point across and the message in his case is ‘repetition’.
As a structure, it follows the format of the BBC News:
1. Here are the headlines
2. Here are the stories in more detail
3. Here is the summary of the main points
It is an effective way of establishing trust in the speaker because by clearly laying out the agenda at the beginning, you outline a clear and simple course.
Then as you follow that course your audience starts to feel:
‘This person does what they say they are going to do!’
And then by recapping at the end, the audience can reflect:
‘Yes that is exactly what they said they would do and it is what they have done!
They come across as believable, dependable.’
The content and structure are set out clearly, so you come across as reliable and ‘trustworthy’.
It is an excellent format for a business presentation; particularly if you are involved in competitive tendering, where the client may have to spend a day watching a carousel of potential bids one after the other and it becomes very easy to forget and blur who said what.
The repetition reinforces the message, making it easier to retain.
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Style
Your style of delivery needs to take the audience into account. Particularly in a sales presentation, there is the danger of appearing pushy, superficial, and ‘salesy’. Most people regard a salesperson as someone not to trust, after all ‘they are trying to sell you something.’ Most of us do like to buy things, but we don’t like to be sold to so adopt a speaking style that encourages them to feel like they are making their own decisions.
I worked in sales for a few years and for me, the best indirect compliment was when a client said:
‘Thank you for explaining that because we had some salesman around yesterday.’
The fact that I was not put in the same basket as the salesman suggested I had established a level of trust.
You will be perceived as more trustworthy if your presentation feels like something that you are sharing, rather than something that is being forced onto the listener.
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Lead them down the corridor
The ‘corridor’ is an image that I encourage presenters to adopt, particularly if their presentation involves an element of persuasion. If we think of the presentation as a corridor, our job is to lead the audience along the corridor to the door at the end marked ‘message’. However, as we proceed down the corridor we will notice there are rows of doors on either side, through which we could lose our audience. On one side there are doors marked:
‘I don’t believe you’
‘I prefer what I already have.’
‘What you say does not make sense to me.’
On the other side are doors marked:
‘I don’t trust you.’
‘You don’t seem certain.’
‘I cannot relate to what you are telling me.’
Our job is to close off each of those doors.
On the one hand, we can build trust by how we deliver our message (which we will address in the later tips) and on the other hand can build trust by how we structure our message so that it seems clear and makes sense, so that when the audience reach the door at the end of the corridor, they are not being forced through, or passing through with some misgivings, they arrive at the end thinking:
‘This makes perfect sense and this is the only sensible door to go through.’
We have almost moved beyond trust, as the listener is not even consciously thinking:
‘I trust the process; I trust the speaker.’
They are thinking:
‘This is the obvious solution.’
They have not been talked around; they have decided for themselves.
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Provide absolute Proof
If you have to rely on ‘Trust me’ to carry your point across, you are immediately on weak ground.
This is why speakers will always be looking for evidence from outside of them.
Advertisers, rather than saying their product is the best, will find testimonials from happy customers: people who are ‘just like you.’
I am particularly struck by the testimonies for the Postcode lottery, as advertised on TV, because they will always show one lucky winner who says:
‘I never normally win anything.’
Why? - because that is what we are thinking!
If we list Aristotle’s non-creative proofs:
contracts, laws, witnesses, and then
oaths and confessions under torture(! ) - these days maybe not so trustworthy
we are reaching for support that is clear-cut and not open to interpretation:
‘Here is your signature at the bottom.’
‘It is the law.’
‘Five witnesses saw you do it.’
Therefore the best way to build trust is to put the trust in your presentation, and not in you,
because ‘Here are the facts.’
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Provide creative Proof
The three rhetorical creative proofs in speaking are referred to as Ethos, Logos, and Pathos.
And there are definitions and 10 tips for establishing each of these in previous blogs:
https://www.ataps.co.uk/about/blog/public-speaking-tips-for-ethos.html
https://www.ataps.co.uk/about/blog/public-speaking-tips-for-logos.html
https://www.ataps.co.uk/about/blog/public-speaking-tips-for-pathos.html
When you are relying on Logos, you are saying:
‘It is not about me. Trust the logic of my argument.’
When you build on pathos, you are creating a resonance with how they feel about a situation.
When you establish your Ethos, you are saying ‘Look at me, you can trust me!’
and now rather than just examining your argument, your audience is also examining you!
This third form of appeal will lean heavily on your presentation skills, which we will now look at.
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Establish eye contact
If you ever find yourself saying:
‘Trust me.’
you will probably be saying it while making eye contact with the person in question.
Therefore a presenter that is too buried in their notes, too busy reading the PowerPoint slides, or simply too nervous to look the audience in the eye will be perceived as less trustworthy.
For anyone who has watched ‘Sex in the City’ there is a scene when the Kim Cattrall character has had cancer, has lost her hair and so is wearing a wig and has been asked to deliver a speech to a group of women, while having hot flushes.
At first, she stands with her notes and delivers awkwardly: she is hot and uncomfortable.
Then she decides to drop the pretence, takes off her wig, and speaks from the heart.
She no longer needs her notes, she says what she feels.
The television audience has an ‘aahh’ moment. The pretence is gone. We believe her and trust her, as she stands open, honest and looks directly at her audience and shares what she feels.
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Body language
Back to your plea of
‘Trust me.’
Not only are you looking at your audience, but you probably have your arms spread with your wrists and palms showing that you have ‘nothing to hide’.
Nervousness might make us want to protect ourselves and clutching notes or hiding behind a lectern can look defensive; all of which will detract from your projection of trustworthiness.
You may not be able to deliver a complete presentation without any notes, but be aware of those moments when you need your audience to fully believe you. Those are the moments to stand in the open, avoid all ‘covering up’ and ‘hiding’ actions and to look them in the eye.
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Express your passion
Passion is infectious. You cannot excite an audience if you are not excited yourself.
However, we do need to be very aware of how we want to build trust.
Are you appealing by showing your conviction?
If so, passion and emotion may convince your audience that you deeply mean what you say.
In this case, you are indeed saying: ‘Trust me.’
However, on other occasions, you will only be able to build trust by showing that you have a cool, reasoned head, in which case too much emotion might make you seem blinded or biased by your feelings,
Now you are saying: ‘Trust my argument.’
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Vocabulary
A passionate appeal might require passionate vocabulary; lots of superlatives and positive images.
However, if your trustworthiness is built on a reasoned argument, the use of exaggerated vocabulary might sound bombastic.
Phrases like:
‘millions of times’
‘it is happening everywhere’
‘the worst thing in the world’
can cause an audience to question the balance and accuracy of your argument.
It might indeed be ‘the worst thing in the world’, but you either need to be sure that I already agree with you or at least offer an explanation of why it is ‘the worst thing in the world’.
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Humility
And once more back to:
‘Trust me.’
The eye contact and the open arms suggest humility.
The stance is one of pleading; the eyes are making the human connection.
Implied is:
‘You may not yet completely trust me, but I would like you to.’
If we turn that around and imagine the appeal:
‘Trust me’
accompanied by no eye contact and a lack of physical openness, we are probably getting a message of arrogance or at best indifference:
‘You may not completely trust me. And I don’t really care if you do!’
Trust is about being human, like Kim Cattrall in ‘Sex I the City’, it is getting on a level with people.
It is about being direct and honest.
It is about being clear.
It means having a delivery style that is congruent with your message.
And these are all things that we can address as we prepare to Speak in Public.
